Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
