Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he was CRYING into my vagina
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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