I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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