Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
