i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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