oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
