thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
