my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
