Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
