careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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