the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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