you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
