so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
