Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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