he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
