I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
