shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize