I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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