so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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