apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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