i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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