Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
