well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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