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I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
