You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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