her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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