I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
