Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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