Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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