I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
