census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
