wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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