You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
