Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
