We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
