Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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