Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
