Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
