I will die if light touches me.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize