I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
