Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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