I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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