Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i think i just lost a toe
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