Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
