i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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