I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
