Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The Olympian is in my bed
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
