Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
