It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
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I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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