Pappa wants mamma naked
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
