At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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