Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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