Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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