Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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