i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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