I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
