hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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