you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
