is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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