Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
