I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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