Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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