he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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