it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
