i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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