How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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