Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
did you just send me my own nude
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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