I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
