I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
