i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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