I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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